Rainin You
by Future Miss CSI60
Summary: Grissom cried until no more tears came. He had cried all that was within him. Five years of tragedy, a slow moving train wreck, had flown from inside his soul. GSR Angst...but what else is knew?


**Title**: Rainin You

**Author: **Chella Belle

**Disclaimer:** The song isn't mine. Its Brad Paisley's called Rainin You, hence the name of the story. Well, when I first heard this I wasn't sure what to make of it. To me it sounded like he lost a love. If that's not how you heard it…please try to keep an open mind. Also, the characters, lab and settings aren't mine.

**Author's Notes:** Well, this is really a beautiful/sad song. When I heard it I thought I should put it in the _other_ book that I'm writing, which I will, but I decided to do a songfic to it also. This takes place around the end of season four after 'Butterflied'. I had some people read this, they said it didn't make them cry but made their hearts ache (if that makes any sense) and they could feel his pain. PLEASE let me know what ya'll think. This is my first songfic and I wanna know if I did it right. I seriously suggest you listen to the song. Its very powerful when mixed with the book. Enjoy.

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Grissom opened his eyes to the harsh light pouring in from the slits in his blinds. He silently cursed the morning, then cursed it aloud just for good measure. Despite his willing and praying, another day had come. The light was dimmer now and thunder shook the town of Las Vegas. "Another day indeed."

He threw his feet across the bed and pulled himself to the window. His hand lingered over the blinds as he mentally prepared himself for the sun that would be pouring into his un-homely dwelling. Grissom pushed back the blinds and arched his brow at the scenery before him. Las Vegas was gray and dark, and a storm was rolling in. He smiled sadly.

_When I looked out today, and saw that the sky was gray. I thought about the way, you loved days like this_.

Grissom accelerated on the gas of his Tahoe only wanting to get to work so he could finish and go home. Being in the lab and around the people with their smiling and encouraging faces with sympathy and pity seeping from their pores only aggravated and sickened him. It was days like this Grissom wished he wasn't here anymore.

_And driving in to town, it really started coming down. Bringing me back around, to all that I miss._

He wished away everything but the rain. He willed away the sun, moon, stars, trees, people, plants, everything. Nothing was good in the world.

Grissom looked out the windshield and saw the rain come down harder and he felt his heart brake.

_It feels like it's rainin' you. It feels like it's rainin' you. _

Not because he would be soaked by the time he walked into the building, but because he wouldn't see her smile once he got there.

Grissom parked the Tahoe and sat for a minuet. The clock blinked at him telling him he was immensely late…as he had been everyday for the past few months. Why bother coming to a world and place that only dejected him.

Grissom stepped out of his Tahoe and stood facing the Police Department's double doors. He didn't want to go in. Every fiber of his being told him to drive home, or off a cliff for that matter. But he didn't. He simply stood there.

_I didn't even run inside, or worry about staying dry. Besides there nowhere I can hide, these feeling now._

He saw a few people gather by the door and watch him standing there. No one made a move to come and get him. Slowly more people came to stare at the amazingly stupid man who stood in the rain and stared at the police department with longing eyes. He didn't care.

Grissom searched among the familiar faces…hers wasn't there.

As he knew it wouldn't be.

_Running down my face. Takes me to another place. I can't think of another way to drown._

His warm wet tears mixed with the rain and his soul poured from within him. He didn't even bother to hide it. What was the point in not letting his emotions show? He hadn't for five years…and look what it had cost him.

Another band of rain swept over him and it seemed to drop a few degrees. His clothes were soaking wet, sending chills through his body. Despite the conditions, his heart and soul were warmed.

He felt her around him.

_It feels like it's rainin' you._

He remembered the first time she had admitted her feelings of the rain. From the way she had cursed it only moments before her revelation you never would have guessed. Grissom figured it was only because it had destroyed their crime scene.

She had walked over to him, and then looked up at the sky. She told him she loved the rain. She hadn't been speaking directly to him. And if she had, she hadn't been looking at him. It was as if she was telling the sky. He had looked at her and smiled. _Funny, I could say the same thing about you_. He had thought. He should have told her. Maybe things could have been different.

_I can't explain it, but I am baptized anew. It feels like it's rainin' you._

Grissom stood in the middle of the parking lot and let the tears stream further. This was the first time he had cried. When he heard the news he had torn apart his office, his home, his car, the park, the hospital. He had moped and laid in bed, never eaten, only broke things. But never once had he cried.

And it wasn't as life shattering as he thought it would have been.

_If I had my way, it would do this every day. _

He lost her. He had used her and abused her. Now she was gone. He should have tried to stop her. They had yelled and exchanged words.

Words they didn't mean.

_I would never see the sun._

She had driven off in furry and sadness. Tears had blurred her vision. Tears of love. Tears of sorrow. Tears of Grissom. She hadn't seen the other car…

_Because the closest I get…_

A life was lost that night. A life of love, joy, and determination. A life….

_To holding you again, is every time that sky opens up._

…of Sara.

Grissom had driven her away to her death. And he would never forgive himself. He was the reason she was gone. He was the reason his life was in remembrance.

He deserved the punishment he was getting. But she didn't deserve the fate that had fallen upon her.

_It feels like it's rainin' you._

Grissom cried until no more tears came. He had cried all that was within him. Five years of tragedy, a slow moving train wreck, had flown from inside his soul.

He still stood there.

_I can't explain it, but I am baptized anew._

The double doors opened and a form walked out of the building. Grissom's eyes were blinded by tears. But the hair was unmistakable. Greg.

He stood next to Grissom. Simply stood. Grissom blinked the tears out of his eyes. Greg looked at him but never said a word.

Catherine would have tried to console him. Brass, Nick, and Warrick also. They would have offered comforting words. Pats on the back. Hugs. Anything. But not Greg. And sometimes…no words were needed.

_It feels like it's rainin' you. _

He had also loved Sara. He had loved almost as much as Grissom, he wouldn't deny it. But the younger man knew that Grissom had held the place in her heart. And no doubt, still did.

"She's gone." was all Grissom could say. Greg looked over at him, then back to the doors. People had begun to stand outside but under the shade of the building. "I lost love."

Greg didn't meet his gaze.

Grissom looked over to the younger man. He looked up to the sky and Grissom copied his movements.

The movements of a son…a consoler…a friend.

The two felt Sara's presence around them. "She's always gonna love you Grissom. I might not have been in the room as she…" Greg gulped, "passed. But I know she'll always love you. And she doesn't blame you. No one does."

Grissom looked at the younger man, then back to the sky. "I can feel her."

_It feels like it's rainin' you._

Sara warmed his heart and every fiber of his being. And suddenly….the world didn't seem so unbearable anymore.


End file.
